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Manuscript Sample

By Evelyn Lallave-Rodriguez


"Poems From a Gypsy Soul"
Copyright © 2009-2011 Evelyn Rodriguez.
Evaluna Poetry Collection. All Rights Reserved


Published- Thursday, October 8, 2009


Acknowledgement

To my loving children, and to my husband
who was patience enough
to let me write for endless days
and nights.
Without your love and support
this book would have never been completed.

THANK YOU ALL!

Loves,
Evelyn


Time & Love Together

I live with the anticipation
of having you
close to me,
of your spirit entwined
within my spirit.
To believe your love it’s true.
To have good times to remember.
I live with secrets
only you can know,
with fantasies only you
can make a reality and remember.
I live with the power
of my love
that needs to be held
only by you.
My heart needs to be touched.
My mind needs to be filled,
with the true pure love
you have for me.
I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
I will wait for the time,
when we are finally together.
I will hold on to that minute,
and our love will last forever and ever...


Like a Diamond

So sharp, so slick
So smooth, so clean,
So bright.
Just like a diamond,
You are.
My life goes on
Because of you.
No more tears,
No more lies.
I’m glad to have you
Again right by my side,
And I ask you,
Just like a diamond,
Let me shine
Through your soft caramel eyes.


Silence

Silence in my room.
Silence in my soul;
Secrets of love!...
that reveal I won't.
Secrets that I've shared
only with the moon.

(Semi-finalist Poem on Poetry.com
Poetry contest)


All I’ll Ever Need

I've seen my reflection
within your eyes;
we are one and the same,
for the eyes
can not tell a lie.
Love seems endless
when I'm in your arms.
You make me happy;
with you I feel safe
from any harm.
You appeared to me
like an image straight
of my dreams.
We've met before,
in another life it seems.
I need you like the air I breathe.
You've become my world.
I've never felt before
a love so true,
and your love
it’s all that I’ll ever need.

Please stay; come back to me...
Grieving

He left my soul filled with pain.
Oh Lord, he was so vain!
He killed the love I felt for him,
and broke my heart
again and again!
He ripped the last hope
from my now empty and dark soul.
And here I am now,
standing under this rain
crying,
and praying, and crying,
again and again!
Crying over my disillusions.
And praying to the sky
full of stars,
to heal soon
my emotional scars.


Wretched Pain

This wretched pain lays very deep
within the labyrinths
of my torn heart.
So deep inside,
yet still visible through my darkened eyes.
Smiles fade fast.
And the happiness
will never cast itself
upon my life again.
Truth, be it real or not real;
What more can this world offer?!
A rainbow of spectrums turned gray in disbelief.
You’ve walked away!
Away from me!.
In your arms I made my home.
But now it seems
I'm left all alone.
In my garden my flowers
have withered away.
And I try so hard to forget,
but this wretched pain
won't let me yet.
Now I wait
for a new bright light
to shine my way
and bring me forth
much more and brighter days.


Unanswered

The plan? To be myself,
my own unique person.
In reality I emulate so many;
Confusion is not a stranger,
but more like a close friend.
Anger drops by
and never seems to end.
It hides instead in the shadows
of florescent lights,
and to the naked eye
it's never in sight.
In a theater, we live our daily life.
Award winning actors
in every shape & size
What is this I ask?
Everything seems so wrong!
Does anyone feel the same?
Yet, the question remains,
Why have we become
so rehearsed and fake?
The plan, you‘ve asked?
The question unanswered remains…


How Does It Feel?

How does it feel
To be loved and cared for,
When the next second you see
The person you truly love
Walking out the door?
You tell him not to dare,
Leaving you behind.
But all he does is
looking back at you,
With a cold quiet stare
in his angry eyes.
How does it feel
To be left all alone,
Afraid, and cold?
And after you realize
you made a mistake
And see
that everything was a fake,
You returns home,
to be loved and cared for,
but then…
How does it feel
seeing your love life
walking out the door,
As you did, before,
leaving you behind?


H-A-T-E

Hell hath no fury like a women scorned!
In more than one occasion
to you this I have sworn.
There is a thin line between love and hate.
I you knew your time would end,
and arrive would be the date
in which I would feel
this uncontrollable fury.
My mind races and I think,
“What's my hurry to leave?”
But all I can think is what this
awful hate
really means.
Horrific
Affliction
That taints
Everything.
Sometimes I wonder if all this
was just my fate,
or my a karma…
And no matter how hard I try
or how hard I fight,
I am always left with anger
and a very deep sadness.
My last words to you
as I finish writing
these lines are
that in my heart
or my mind
you will never, ever, find
anything less than hate for you;
For your love for me was always a lie,
and never, ever, true…


Simply Thoughts

I thought we were happy,
my dear;
I thought what we had,
had been real.

I dreamed on a world
full of love and peace;
Filled with us...
You & Me!

I thought for once,
that you truly loved me!
And I thought,
that I loved you too!

But those were mere
happy thoughts…

I Thought I Had It All

I once thought I’d reached the top,
that I finally was
who I’d always wanted to be.

Yes, I was over my head.
I thought I was better
even than myself.

And though I had it all,
money, friends, and wealth.
Family, love, and health.
All!
Nothing was ever enough!

But now I can see
that what I called “all”
was only an empty hole.

The little I had
was superfluous and unreal.
Now everything it’s gone.
Life happens, and things goes wrong...

Friends?

Every one of them
disappeared somehow,
or are simply to far
to reach out.

Wealth?

It was only a dream
turned into despair.

Love?

Was it ever there?
Yes. But I couldn’t reach for it,
or forgot how...
Maybe the true love was gone,
before I realized and woke up...

Family?

What’s that word?
Yes. I remember them well.
I had a large family once,
one as it seems
forgot that I exist.
One I took for granted,
as everything else.
One I barely took care of
I admit.

Health?

I do have that, but who cares
when all you have left
is an empty soul.
And I thought I had it all!...


Sailing trough the wind

I'd like to sail into the blue sea
in a ship with golden wings;
Sailing through the wind,
deep inside the ocean,
were the pain doesn’t exist.

Sailing far away,
without turning back.
Sailing far away
from a hurtful past.

Sailing through the storms
blowing inside me;
Sailing in a ship
with magical wings.

I'd like to sail away,
far away,
away from you,
away from myself...


Sad Winter

The Winter wind blows, whipping,
blowing its breath
over my naked face
and my uncovered body.

My hands are now
frozen pale,
And my mouth seems dry.
I feel I’m going to die…

Everything around me
has turned pitch black;
For me there is no light;
There is no hope.
There is no turning back.

Not anymore!

I’ve lost my faith.
I have no luck.
I feel I’m dead.
This winter is terribly sad...

I’m going mad!
I miss you bad.
This sad winter is really sad!

And as I lay here over this bed,
made of dirt and grass,
I sadly stare at a shooting star,
wishing to see, before is to late,
before I die,
the glittering stars
of your loving eyes...


Rebel

We were anything are but mere
fragile mortals,
who walked a thin line
between life and death.

A game of our own,
a living Russian Roulette,
not always won...

My heart cries tears of blood
for you...

Some kind of rebel,
with your gun in your hand.
You lost in the battle
of a war waged
between yourself.

The memory of the life
this rebel lived,
seems somewhat
less than of a hero,
but instead the picture
of a sacred scared scarred soul.

A picture of a rebel
who hid his fears
behind a gun,
the very gun
that took his own life...


Bitter and Cold

The frame sits empty
But your picture remains fresh
within my mind.

Sleep seems damned
with lucid fake dreams,
from your scent
that still lingers over my pillows.

The days ahead seem cold and bare;
Like the winter midnight sky
whose stars have gone astray.

This unbearable pain
has nestled itself
deep into my heart.

I have lost myself in a dream
I yearned so much to come true.
I’ve cried countless tears,
and my mind swells
with endless memories of you.
But even in these
lonely passing days,
I can’t love you no less.

Even though
I’m still bitter and cold,
like you once said,
you will always remain
deeply in my heart,
my mind, and my soul.


Sweet & Unknown Fear

Why are his words
burning still
inside my ears?

Why is it,
that I need
to feel him near?

And why do his smile,
or his voice
it is all I wish to hear?

Why I do I crave for his lips?
Why they have to feel so near?
Why do these words I can not say to him?
Why do I have to be so afraid,
folding my hopes
in this sweet, and unknown fear.

If cupid with his poisoned arrow,
in my heart he had stabbed me
and on my face,
my unlucky fate
had slapped me…

Oh, why do the simply touch
of his rugged yet soft hands
make me feel so strange inside?
And why is it that I need him.

Why can’t I stare back
deep into his dark ocean eyes?
Why does he need to be so far,
and yet feel so near?

Why do I have to feel like this,
feeling this tempting
blaming,
sweet and unknown fear?


I can’t live without you

I'm dying without you.
I can't live without you...
I'm dying for your love.
I'm dying, but it's not your fault.
I ask the moon where are you,
and in return, she turns her face to me.

I tell her that without you
I can not live.
You are the only hope I have;
Tell me, Love,
What you've done to me?
Tell me, who can rescue me?
How can I live like this?

How can I take you out of my life,
if my heart for you,
is bleeding inside,
since our lives or our destiny
brought us apart?!

Come, Life, to me,
before I die!


Only in my dreams

Only in my dreams
you could see tears
running down my face
like peaceful streams.

Tears of pain;
Tears I can't refrain.

Only in my dreams
I could tell you my whole story...
I could open my heart to you,
and feel no worries.

Only in my dreams
I could go back to our little old cottage.
Sit there, pray,
dream, and cry
and return then to my daily life
with renewed courage.

Only in my dreams
my life is real;
Our life together is real,
but only, in my dreams!


A Rose in Her Angelic Hands

An empty hole filled of yellow roses
became your feathered bed.
A picture I could not bear.
An angel in eternal rest!
Your pale hands
are now holding with love,
a love I took for granted,
a single glowing rose.

Your cold frozen hands
aren't as warm,
as when you had last
tucked me in bed.

My fairy
with a yellow wand;
My Mother,
an angel in eternal rest.

“In memory of my beloved mother,
Carmen Rodriguez.
May she rest in peace!.”

Poem to my Children:

Green Belt View

Crash, Crash!
There’s a noise over the grass.
The wind plays around,
whistling in my ears.
Melodic and sweet voices everywhere I hear…
Happiness and laughter
are coming to me,
while I stare startled
at the loving picture I see.

My children!

Running, laughing, and playing!
The echo of their voices
sounding in my ears,
like tiny drops of rains,
bringing to my eyes
happiness tears.

This is how life should always be!
The sun playing hide and seek
with the children, hiding its smiley face
behind the trees.

Seating here in this enchanted place,
and enjoying my children's joy
brings me the tranquility
I so much need.

It is here by this green belt view,
this great line of pine trees,
where my children and I
can finally find.
A true realm of peace
we desperately seek!



Thank You!

Thank You, for showing me the way.
Thank You, for bringing light
to my darkest side.
Thank You, for all you've done
and haven't done for me.
Thank You, for just
letting me be.
Thank You, for all the love
you’ve given me…
Thank You,
for giving me my children,
so valuable gifts…
There's only one thing
I have left to say
even though
I do not know how to pray,
Thank You, my love,
for being with me
until our final days.


----------------------------
Note from the Author:

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By Evelyn Lallave-Rodriguez
Eva Luna Collection
eva.luna2006@gmail.com


© 2011 Evelyn Lallave-Rodriguez. All Rights Reserved.